Post by cpnonprofit on Oct 25, 2018 4:38:20 GMT -6
Today I am going to be talking about something incredibly important and that is Domestic Abuse. More specifically, the 8 early warning signs of an abusive relationship. I'm not just talking about physical abuse, more emotional and psychological abuse as these signs are more difficult to notice which means we need extra education on them.
I think that most people tend to overlook the simple signs of an abuser until it's too late which is no good. It's important to be able to recognise the 8 signs of an abusive relationship so you can help yourself and other remain safe.
EndAbuse4Good created the poster below to give a short summary of the 8 signs - also known as 'Know The 8 Before It's Too Late':
So, let's get into the signs:
Intensity - If your partner is TOO full on in the relationship, this could be a sign of an abuser. By this I mean, if they are pushing you to move in with them, have kids, get married, etc. If they are pushing you to take steps in the relationship that you are not comfortable with or feel are too soon. If they become distant, upset or angry (over the top) if/when you refuse, this is another sign of a dangerous relationship. Also, wanting to know where you are all the time, sending non-stop messages and phone calls - being over-bearing and not giving you any space or time to yourself.
Jealousy - Now, a little bit of jealousy is good in a relationship, it shows your partner cares and is a sign of a healthy relationship. However, there is jealousy and then there is possessive. If your partner become angry when you talk to other people and go on to accuse you of cheating constantly, that is not normal. If they resent the time that you spend away with friends and even family and they want to know every detail about where you're going and who you're with, this is not a good sign. Jealousy can also include professional aspects. If they become upset or angry when you get a promotion or a new job - this is also a sign of an abuser - partners should be supportive, not angry at you accomplishments.
Control - This is a sign which I think is overlooked the most. People often confuse controlling actions as being protective or, sometimes, even cute gestures. If a partner tells you what you can and can't wear, who you can and can't talk to - that's them trying to control you. It sometimes even stems to social media. If a partner tells you not to post something or tells you to remove posts (e.g. ones of you with certain people or in swimsuits,etc.) they are again being controlling and they have no right to do that. If they show up at your home or job at inappropriate times, with-holds your own money, and goes through your social media, phone calls and text messages, it's a sign of a controlling person. I feel like being controlling is the clearest sign of a potential abuser - it's not normal to want to control every aspect of someone else's life.
Isolation - This includes your partner stopping you from seeing family and friends, insisting you only spend time with them and making you fully dependent on them (this includes physically, emotionally and financially dependent). When a partner tells you to stay home with them and forbids you from seeing certain people - that is abuse.
Criticism - This is where they will call you names and make you feel so bad about yourself. Abuser often do this as a way to break their partners spirit. By breaking you down, an abuser is able to make their partner feel they are worthless and will not find someone else to love them or want them. This ensures that the abuser maintains control and possession of their partner. If your partner calls you ugly, worthless, stupid; if they ridicule your beliefs and ambitions and tells you that they are the only one who really cares for you - it is bullying; it is brainwashing and it is abuse.
Sabotage - This could be something as small as making you miss work or school for them (especially if they do this by having a meltdown or starting a fight with you). If they keep distracting you from work; if they hide money, keys and phone to keep you home or if they steal your belongings to make sure you can't leave - these are all signs of someone trying to ruin your education or career.
Blame - If your partner constantly blames you for their mistakes or for fights in the relationship; if they make you feel guilty and responsible for their destructive behaviour or their bad mood; if they constantly say 'This is your fault' or 'You made me do this' - that is not tight. You should never be made to feel guilty by someone who says they love you.
Anger - The final sign includes things like constant outbursts, arguments and yelling. More severe signs include threats from your partner, feeling afraid for your life or your loved ones and violent actions or mood swings.
All these things are signs of an abuser or and abusive relationship - or at the very least, an extremely unhealthy relationship - one that no human being should ever be in.
If you have experience any of these things in your relationship, please, reassess the relationship as soon as you can otherwise it will just get worse and you will be left with a lot more than emotional scars.
If your partner ever threatens you or puts their hands on you (e.g. pushing, shoving or hitting), please remember there is no justification for that and it's not safe to stay.
No matter what your partner says, if it happens once, it will happen again. It doesn't matter if they 'had a bad day' or 'you made them angry'. It is never your fault and there is no excuse.
If you recognise any of the above signs in your relationship, please tell someone that your trust (a parent, friend or teacher/work colleague). If you feel like you have no one to tell, call the Domestic Violence Helpline:
0808-2000-247 (UK)
1-800-799-7233 (USA) also seen as 1-800-799-SAFE
Please stay safe. Share this post around and stay aware.
xox
By: Hope Flynn
I think that most people tend to overlook the simple signs of an abuser until it's too late which is no good. It's important to be able to recognise the 8 signs of an abusive relationship so you can help yourself and other remain safe.
EndAbuse4Good created the poster below to give a short summary of the 8 signs - also known as 'Know The 8 Before It's Too Late':
So, let's get into the signs:
Intensity - If your partner is TOO full on in the relationship, this could be a sign of an abuser. By this I mean, if they are pushing you to move in with them, have kids, get married, etc. If they are pushing you to take steps in the relationship that you are not comfortable with or feel are too soon. If they become distant, upset or angry (over the top) if/when you refuse, this is another sign of a dangerous relationship. Also, wanting to know where you are all the time, sending non-stop messages and phone calls - being over-bearing and not giving you any space or time to yourself.
Jealousy - Now, a little bit of jealousy is good in a relationship, it shows your partner cares and is a sign of a healthy relationship. However, there is jealousy and then there is possessive. If your partner become angry when you talk to other people and go on to accuse you of cheating constantly, that is not normal. If they resent the time that you spend away with friends and even family and they want to know every detail about where you're going and who you're with, this is not a good sign. Jealousy can also include professional aspects. If they become upset or angry when you get a promotion or a new job - this is also a sign of an abuser - partners should be supportive, not angry at you accomplishments.
Control - This is a sign which I think is overlooked the most. People often confuse controlling actions as being protective or, sometimes, even cute gestures. If a partner tells you what you can and can't wear, who you can and can't talk to - that's them trying to control you. It sometimes even stems to social media. If a partner tells you not to post something or tells you to remove posts (e.g. ones of you with certain people or in swimsuits,etc.) they are again being controlling and they have no right to do that. If they show up at your home or job at inappropriate times, with-holds your own money, and goes through your social media, phone calls and text messages, it's a sign of a controlling person. I feel like being controlling is the clearest sign of a potential abuser - it's not normal to want to control every aspect of someone else's life.
Isolation - This includes your partner stopping you from seeing family and friends, insisting you only spend time with them and making you fully dependent on them (this includes physically, emotionally and financially dependent). When a partner tells you to stay home with them and forbids you from seeing certain people - that is abuse.
Criticism - This is where they will call you names and make you feel so bad about yourself. Abuser often do this as a way to break their partners spirit. By breaking you down, an abuser is able to make their partner feel they are worthless and will not find someone else to love them or want them. This ensures that the abuser maintains control and possession of their partner. If your partner calls you ugly, worthless, stupid; if they ridicule your beliefs and ambitions and tells you that they are the only one who really cares for you - it is bullying; it is brainwashing and it is abuse.
Sabotage - This could be something as small as making you miss work or school for them (especially if they do this by having a meltdown or starting a fight with you). If they keep distracting you from work; if they hide money, keys and phone to keep you home or if they steal your belongings to make sure you can't leave - these are all signs of someone trying to ruin your education or career.
Blame - If your partner constantly blames you for their mistakes or for fights in the relationship; if they make you feel guilty and responsible for their destructive behaviour or their bad mood; if they constantly say 'This is your fault' or 'You made me do this' - that is not tight. You should never be made to feel guilty by someone who says they love you.
Anger - The final sign includes things like constant outbursts, arguments and yelling. More severe signs include threats from your partner, feeling afraid for your life or your loved ones and violent actions or mood swings.
All these things are signs of an abuser or and abusive relationship - or at the very least, an extremely unhealthy relationship - one that no human being should ever be in.
If you have experience any of these things in your relationship, please, reassess the relationship as soon as you can otherwise it will just get worse and you will be left with a lot more than emotional scars.
If your partner ever threatens you or puts their hands on you (e.g. pushing, shoving or hitting), please remember there is no justification for that and it's not safe to stay.
No matter what your partner says, if it happens once, it will happen again. It doesn't matter if they 'had a bad day' or 'you made them angry'. It is never your fault and there is no excuse.
If you recognise any of the above signs in your relationship, please tell someone that your trust (a parent, friend or teacher/work colleague). If you feel like you have no one to tell, call the Domestic Violence Helpline:
0808-2000-247 (UK)
1-800-799-7233 (USA) also seen as 1-800-799-SAFE
Please stay safe. Share this post around and stay aware.
xox
By: Hope Flynn